I'm more than two years married from my five-year long steady boyfriend since college, and I must say, in more than eight years, we've been through a lot of ups and downs. One can call it hardship; staying steady for the past half decade, the adjustment periods for newly weds and now as new parents, like a boat sailing, we've passed storms while holding hands together, and we enjoy sunsets over the ocean's blue blanket of water with my head on his shoulder.
We know we have a lifetime to prove our sacred vow of marriage, yet these small milestones for both us is a great achievement! We are aware that in our times where divorce, annulment and separation is just a step away, we manage to hold on to our relationship. Our secrets? Well, it's not actually a secret, I would prefer calling it our standards and principles in life.
First off, we both believe that God is the originator of marriage, hence, it is then right for us to find guidelines for our marriage in His word, The Holy Scriptures. It helps us to remind ourselves on what are our roles as a couple, as husband and wife. By sincerely trying to apply the Bible principles in our family lives, we found great happiness and inner peace in our circle.
We learned that we should compliment each other just like this:
Never too young nor too old to compliment each other. Be sweet, stay crazy inlove! Continue courting your wife, and continue respecting your husband. On our case, we try to set a dinner date like we used to when we were just dating. We also try to avoid using each other, instead of thinking about "me, myself and I", we try to think as a team, "we, us, and our". And instead of thinking about myself, I try to think about his personal interest first.
We learned that having intimate communication is a must too. This will iron out small misunderstandings hence avoiding issues to explode like bombs on our faces. This is also a good way to make the right decisions in our relationship, by considering each other's opinions and point of view of the matter. Could you believe that by hearing one's side, sometimes you'll realize, "hey, I didn't saw it that way...", like there's a new light or angle that you hadn't notice and vice versa. We usually talk about what went on our day before going to bed after praying together, or by video/call/text whenever husband is away.
A perfect marriage is an illusion, but happiness in a relationship nowadays is still unbelievably possible!
Oh yes! There are times for romance and fight. Love covers sin, and when you love someone, you'll try to see a way to forgive and forget. This is on a general point of view however, because it really depends on how serious the committed "crime" is. Well, we learned to forgive each other, forget the issue and try to never raise it up again, or else we'll end up in a cycle of "violence, remorse, romance" again and again. And that would make the relationship unhealthy.
Keeping your cool when he's hot! Husband is so committed to his work, and I just hate it when we face our laptops and make our seats hot! So, the stubborn me always keep on pestering him! Hehehe Sense of Humor is one of the sweetest ingredients of happy relationship! There's this time when he's ignoring me,
and told him, one big smile on the camera and I'll be gone! See, I got what I asked for! I just love this photo!
The shivery shudders lovers felt during their first years in a relationship will gradually slow down and on some point stop, but staying committed will keep the fire burning!
"...If you really love the person you intend to marry, commitment will not seem like a burden. Instead, it will be viewed as a source of security. The sense of commitment... will make a couple want to stay together... and be supportive of each other come what may." - The Secret of Family Happiness